she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
