I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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