have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
