I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
