If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
