Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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