i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
