he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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