She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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