what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
