just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
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