I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
