I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
