the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Vodka?
Forever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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