I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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