what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
