Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
