I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
