The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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