i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
