Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
