Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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