last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
