the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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