Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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