this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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