He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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