I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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