I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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