somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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