real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
