What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize