forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize