my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
