Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
