Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
