I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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