Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
