It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
