i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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