Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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