hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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