I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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