I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He did a backflip because drugs
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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