i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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