i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
