just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
