i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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