drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im six kinds of drunk right now
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
