If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
3 2 1 whiskey
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
