Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Holy sore nipples Batman
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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