hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
