pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
