There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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