I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize