I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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