So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize