Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
