We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
