Having a random hookup so left but love u
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
