I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
