Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize