just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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