I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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