WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
