You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
