Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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