Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
